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Tuesday, 13 June 2017

Why I am done being single

On Sunday night, I decided to download Tinder on my tablet. If you don't know what Tinder is, it is a dating app that shows you all the people in your area that are on it. It goes through Facebook [you sign in with your account] and you swipe left [for no] or right [for like] and it comes up if you have matched with the person. You can then send a message if you want to. I use it for a good laugh me haha!

Anyway, it got me thinking about my non existent relationship history. I have always been single really. I mean I've had a couple on/off relationships but nothing that has lasted for more than a month or so. For starters, I am ok with this, it doesn't bother me one bit in fact. I think society has made us all too well aware of us having to be in relationships and if you haven't/aren't in one, then you are probably unattractive and you should sort that out asap.

The thing is, for 22 years, I have enjoyed being this single, independent girl who didn't need no man to take care of her and treat her like a princess, like that ain't me. I published a post on why I think I am single so that expands on this. But as much as I love being single, I do want to be with someone now.

 
I'll warn you that this maybe a long post, oopsy, but I have just kinda written everything down that I have been feeling recently and just letting it all go!

Because, as of now, I am done with being single and here is why...

Not going to lie, I find it really hard to trust people but it is mainly men I don't trust. Like I know I cannot say all men are douches but the guys I've had in my life have either really hurt me, left me or bullied me so they are douches.
I wouldn't talk to anyone about these things and my feelings, I have literally just started to do that this past year with my friends but it's just nice to finally let go of all that crap and hatred I once had and actually try to move on. That was slightly off topic, I know, but I used to keep myself to myself and that got me by during school, college and uni.
Due to the fact that I was always made out to be the ugly, fat, weird kid at school and at home, I was very harsh on myself because I used to think 'well if so many people are saying it then it must be true' and this is what made me feel like I wasn't pretty enough to have a boyfriend or that I was just too weird for someone and that they wouldn't fancy me.
 
Now I feel like I am ready to be in a relationship and to have that someone to talk to about things. I've grown up massively these past couple of years and I just feel like I have gained this confidence about myself and I want someone to go on adventures with and have cute moments with, you know.
 
If a guy come up to me or messaged me on Twitter/Facebook, I would have just freaked out before but now I reply or talk to them [whilst freaking out still]. I wouldn't have even had Tinder if this was a year ago. Like this is a rarity but I do try to get myself out there when they do. I love talking to people, getting to know them and obviously if that leads to something then that's fab but I just like talking [god knows I can talk for England once I get started].
 
In December last year, some friends and I went on a rare night out and we hit a club [we felt so old] and when I go out, I don't normally drink [although this occasion we all did because we were celebrating] and I'm already on that dance floor before I even get into the place but as we were chilling [falling asleep] in some chairs towards the end of the fun night, there were two guys at the same table and one of them came up to me and said that I looked stunning and that I was a fab dancer. And then there is me saying 'aw cheers mate'... Aw. Cheers. Mate. 10/10 for the worst flirting everrrrrrrrrr.
Like I cannot flirt to save me life hahahahahahah help me.
 
Fun fact now guys, no guy has ever asked for my number. Online, in real life, like no guy!
Except, that has now changed, with not one but two guys asking for it [I don't even know why or how this happened] and they were both via twitter [which is odd] and not at the same time, I will point out. I did give my number out to one of them but it's in a completely non romantic way.
 
I guess it is just nice to finally let go of all the things that were holding me back in life and actually have guys come up to me when I am out or message me online, it is a confidence booster for sure so thanks guys!
 
But yeah, I am sooooo over with being single at the moment!
Until next time


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All photographs my own! 

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