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Tuesday, 18 April 2017

Losing feelings

A month or two ago, I published a post about catching feelings for someone. Not someone in particular, like generally how I get when I start developing a crush. I had such a lovely response to that post, it was overwhelming really so thank you guys, and because of that, I have written this post all about losing them.

Losing feelings is really difficult, especially if you have liked someone or have been with them for a period of time. It is just hard to switch it all off and move on from them.


I don't know about you but I feel like we have to do this immediately. Like we cannot have time to process and let go of them, like we have to accept that the relationship is over or the person doesn't feel the same way and move on then and there.

But as much as losing feelings can suck, it is a thing we all do and it is something that can be good for us and here is why.

Like I stated in my catching feelings post, I have fancied two people in my 22 years of existing. I could have seen myself with them and I really did like them.
The first guy was a childhood friend and I had feelings for them for years and it was hard to hide them when I saw him but I got used to it. However, a couple of years ago, something happened [and I won't get into it because it is personal to them] and that was when I had to move on from him and from these feelings. Basically, it was never going to happen no more.
The second guy was in my shorthand class and I saw him four times a week and I did really like him, even though I spoke to him like once or twice. But I haven't seen him since we finished the course and so, again, I knew I had to move on because it wasn't going to happen.
 
I go through the stages where I start to develop feelings, think about them constantly, come up with non existent scenarios and then realise it ain't going to happen and then having a realisation that I have these feelings and have no idea what to do with them afterwards.
 
Personally, I have a good talk to myself [sad I know] but I feel like if I just say it all out loud, all of these things I am feeling, then it will help getting rid of them.
It sucks so badly and it makes things real in the fact that you like someone so much, they don't know it or do but don't feel the same way, but now you have to stop feeling for them in that way.
 
It takes time. It isn't going to happen overnight, as much as we might want them to. It is a process in which our mind and heart have to go through in order to move on from what has been or what could have been to what might be coming.
 
Every time, those two crushes appear on my social network accounts or if I see them in real life, there is a part of me that stills has something for them. That is never going to change, they were a part of my past and a part of how I felt during a period of time. And to be truthful, those feelings will always be there. Just not as strong.
 
I don't regret developing them feelings, nor do I regret losing them. I regret not telling them how I felt because I am always left with what if.

However, as much as it hurts and causes us upset, losing feelings is a process in which our minds and hearts go through to cleanse ourselves, to let go and to move on.
 
Well there you have it, we have had catching feelings and now we have also had losing them!
Until next time
 
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All photographs my own! 

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