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Sunday, 29 June 2014

My Bullying Experience.

This post is really personal to me and I probably have a tear in my eye writing this but I feel like I need to write it. This is my bullying story. If you are thinking that I am publishing this for sympathy and what not then I am not. Throughout my childhood, I was bullied at school and at home.

Hearing about these teenagers, who had all of their lives to live, killing/hurting themselves due to bullying makes me really upset because they didn't deserve that. No one does. Bullying is a huge problem nowadays. With the creation of the internet, cyber-bullying has become more common. Most of the time, the bullies may not think that they are causing any harm by tweeting or messaging a person hate but they clearly don't understand how it affects some people, both mentally and physically. Although I have never been cyber-bullied, I have been bullied face to face.

So here is 'Lifestyle| My Bullying Experience'...

So firstly I will start with school and how I was bullied there.
 
During secondary school, other students would comment on the way I looked. It was to do mainly with my weight or how my hair was or something stupid like that. Due to the fact I was only in my early teens, I didn't understand why this was happening to me therefore it seriously affected me mentally and physically. I comfort eat, in which I wouldn't really eat at school and eat a lot when I returned home. That was how I dealt with it. The bullying was mainly just name calling and making fun of me or just staring at me so I would become uncomfortable. Although I looked as if I was happy, and sometimes I was, but most of the time I really wasn't.


Now let us move on to the bullying at home.

When I was younger, I thought I had the 'perfect family'. I had a mum and dad who loved each other and two older brothers who I adored. All four of them meant the world to me.
However, when I was 7/8 my grandpa died and this had a huge impact on my family. At the time I didn't understand what was happening because no one told me due to the fact I was so young. My dad hardly came home and my mum was struggling and my oldest brother looked after me. My other brother though, he was a different story. He was the bully. I cant even remember when it all started and if I am honest I am glad I don't, I just know that that was one of the reasons for it. He would call me 'fat', 'stupid' and 'ugly' at first but then when we got older, swear words appeared, which I don't want to write on this in case it offended anyone but they were the worst ones you can think of.

I had to cope with bullying at school and at home at the same time. I tried to block it out by studying and getting good grades etc but I was in a really dark place and I just didn't want to live anymore because I couldn't cope with it. I just didn't know what to do, I hardly left the house due to confidence issues, I use to cry myself to sleep sometimes and I didn't tell anyone about the bullying.

But nowadays the bullying has stopped. Although my brother still calls me names sometimes, I just ignore it now and I can safely say I much happier. I have just passed my first year at university, studying a journalism course which I adore. I have my mum and my brother (the oldest one), who I love and I am so proud of them because they have been going through some really hard times recently. And finally, I have friends who mean the world to me so I just wanted to say thank you to everyone.



So if you are being bullied, then trust me you are not alone and you don't have to face it alone. Please, don't be like me and keep it to yourself. Tell someone. Anyone. Whether it is a friend, a family member, a teacher, an online anti-bulling organisation or a work colleague, just don't keep it to yourself because as you can tell it really doesn't help you, mentally or physically. And know that you ARE beautiful and perfect and that there IS light at the end of it.


If you are bullying someone then ask yourself why? Why are bullying them, what have they ever done to you to deserve that. You might do it because you think you look 'cool' in front of your friends or you may do it just for fun, but really you don't look 'cool' and you may not see/realise it but you are effecting that person you are bullying more than you will ever know. Also, let me ask you this. If your child or yourself were bullied, how would you feel. Just because the person may look happy on the outside to you, it does NOT mean that they aren't hurting inside. As the saying goes: if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say it. It is as simple as that so just stop.



To round this off, this post was to basically tell someone about my bullying experience and for people who are bullied to tell someone about it. For those who have read this blog post and are reading this sentence, you are my someone and I thank you.

Until next time
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